Cookbook | Ingredients | Recipes

Chupaquesos ("suck cheese") are a cheesy dish invented by Howard Tayler in his webcomic, Schlock Mercenary. The basic idea is to fry cheese until it reaches a rubbery consistency, then cover that rubbery layer with cheese and toppings, then fold it into a tube.

Ingredients

• About 3oz (85g) of "shell" cheese, shredded (e.g. cheddar)
• About 1oz (28g) of "filler" cheese, optionally a different kind of cheese, shredded (e.g. parmesan, Monterey Jack)
• Toppings:
  • Bacon
  • Chopped cold cuts
  • Sandwich toppings - banana peppers, chili peppers, marinated mushrooms, etc
  • Marinara sauce

Procedure

1. In a medium-large non-stick (or cast-iron if you know how to use one) pan, sprinkle the "shell" cheese evenly. It will melt and bubble, and eventually form a layer of cheese.
2. Once the underside is orange or brown colored, flip it over.
3. Sprinkle the filler cheese down the middle, and put whatever toppings you want down the middle. It's advisable to get the toppings ready in advance - it's a time-critical procedure once it's flipped.
4. Fold the shell over, and let it cook long enough to melt the filler cheese if desired. Serve and eat right away - do dishes later.

Serves one. Prep time about two minutes, cook time about two minutes.

Tayler's Original Recipe

The following Text appeared in the webcomic Schlock Mercenary in 2003.^[1]

those readers who have, against all reason, developed a hankering for a chupaqueso will be happy to know that it's possible to make one. You will need a good teflon skillet, a fairly sharp teflon spatula, some sharp cheddar, some fresh parmesan, and some Monterey Jack cheese.

1. Grate about a half-cup of cheddar and a half-cup of jack.
2. Heat the skillet, and spread the cheddar evenly in the pan. You should have an eight-inch diameter circle of grated cheese, with a little bit of pan showing through here and there.
3. As the pan gets hotter the cheese will obviously melt. Then it will toast, and you'll get cheese-grease floating on top of melted cheddar, itself on top of a layer of crusty toasted cheddar.
4. Start lifting around the edges with the spatula. You'll soon reach a point (you'll know, trust me) when the structural integrity of the crusty-toasty cheese allows you to flip the whole thing over.
5. (Speaking of "over," this is often the point where you'll get frustrated and decide to start over.)
6. After toasting side two for a moment, flip it again so the "smooth" side is down, and the recently toasted side is up.
7. You now have a cheese shell sizzling in a puddle of cheese grease. It's still flexible, but much longer and it won't be, so you'll have to work fast. Add the Jack cheese and a sprinkle of parmesan, and then tri-fold the cheddar-shell around it.
8. Slide it out of the pan onto your plate. It's called a "chupaqueso" either because you can suck (chupa) the cheese (queso) out of the middle as you crunch away, or because this cheese (queso) thing you made sucks (chupa).

For added flavor you might try adding cooked-and-crumbled bacon with the jack and parmesan. In this case you'll end up with a chupaqueso con tocino, or, as it's often pronounced in my house, "chupaqueso con SWEET TRADER OF PORK BELLIES THERE'S BACON IN THIS THING chomp chomp AAARGH I BURNED MY MOUTH slurp gulp chomp."

1. ↑ http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2003-09-06