The Fear of Wages

The scene shifts to the Army Pay Corps, where Chief Cashier Hercules Grytpype-Thynne is blatantly stealing money from the army’s wages and hiding it in a variety of bizarre places, with the help of Moriarty. They receive a telephone call telling them of the miraculous return of the lost regiment. The two thieves are horrified as they have spent all the back pay due to the soldiers. While Moriarty panics and Grytpype ponders the situation, the show goes into its first musical interlude.

Back in Burma, Seagoon informs Bloodnok that Whitehall denies that the regiment's soldiers are alive. The only way to get their back pay is to take the Japanese army, in their tree, back to London. Seagoon announces that they should leave the nitroglycerine behind, but just then Grytpype telephones to say that they won't get paid unless all the supplies are accounted for. That means that someone must drive the truck full of nitroglycerin, which leads to a lengthy discussion. Seagoon refuses and Bloodnok has generously volunteered to drive the truck full of the sake, so Eccles (who appears off a record) is ordered to drive the truck, which quickly explodes. However, Eccles reveals he wasn't really driving the truck, and the unfortunate Bluebottle was asleep in the back.

After the second musical interlude, we discover that the truck convoy has been driving back to England for five weeks. Bloodnok has been continually drinking the sake all that time, which worries Seagoon as it means they won't get their back pay. In an aside to the audience, General Yakamoto reveals that he switched the sake with the nitroglycerin.

Meanwhile, Grytpype (aware that his plot to blow up Seagoon and the others has failed) has called a governmental meeting and informs the Chancellor of the Exchequer that the regiment's combined back pay amounts to millions of pounds, which will ruin the country's annual budget. The decision is made to stop the convoy by getting the Japanese to declare war again.

However, the Japanese run out of ammunition again and again are refused to be lent any by the British. However, when Bloodnok tries to cut the tree down, the Japanese reveal they have suddenly got more ammunition (presumably, as Bloodnok suggests, in a Red Cross package from home). Bloodnok and Seagoon jump into the bulletproof driving cab of the truck and continue driving back to England, fighting with the Japanese all the way.

At a British government Cabinet meeting, Grytpype finally concedes and admits that they will probably have to pay the regiment their owed wages. The truck pulls up outside and Seagoon and Bloodnok demand their back pay. In turn, Grytpype demands their supplies, willing to take the sake if not the nitroglycerin. Seagoon and the others tip Bloodnok upside down in an attempt to make him vomit up the sake, but as he really drank the nitroglycerin, he explodes.

The show ends with Bluebottle asking the announcer, Wallace Greenslade to inform the audience that he was not killed in this episode.