13 (musical)

Twelve-year-old New Yorker Evan Goldman is soon to become a man by having his Bar Mitzvah. He wants his party to be amazing, but that might not happen because his parents are splitting up as his father starts to fall in love with a stewardess, causing his mother to file a divorce against her husband ("Thirteen/Becoming A Man"). Just as Evan thinks that maybe things will be fine, his mother calls to tell him they are moving to Appleton, Indiana. Once there, Evan finds a friend in his neighbor, Patrice, who develops a crush on Evan while telling him about Appleton, Indiana ("The Lamest Place in the World").

Later that month, Evan meets Brett Sampson, the most popular kid in school, along with his goons, Malcolm and Eddie, and tells Brett and his friends to take Kendra, a very pretty girl whom Brett wants to date, to a scary movie where Brett can do "The Tongue". Brett nicknames Evan "Brain" because of his idea. Later, Brett asks out Kendra, but Lucy, her jealous friend who has a crush on Brett, tries to tell Kendra she can't go ("Hey, Kendra"). When Brett tells Evan that the idea seems to have worked, Evan is thrilled; this means that Brett will come to his Bar Mitzvah party, and if Brett comes, everyone else will come. Patrice, however, is displeased. If she goes to the Bar Mitzvah party, nobody else will go because the other kids don't like her and Evan will be viewed as "uncool" for hanging out with her. Evan does not think that it will be that bad, but when he hands out the invitations, he sees that Patrice is right, and in a moment of panic, rips up her invitation so the popular kids will come ("13 (Reprise)"). As the other kids express their excitement over Evan's party, Archie, a boy with muscular dystrophy, enters and introduces himself. He is upset at Evan for humiliating Patrice – his best and only friend – but promises to help make it up to her if Evan gets him a date with Kendra. When Archie's attempts to use his degenerative illness to guilt Evan into getting him the date do not work, Archie tries to convince him that Evan is the only one who can get Archie the date and if he doesn't, Archie will show up to Evan's Bar Mitzvah party and ruin it ("Get Me What I Need"). Evan finally relents. Later, at cheerleading practice, Kendra teaches a new cheer while Lucy resolves to make Brett her boyfriend ("Opportunity"). Archie tries to talk Patrice into giving Evan a second chance, especially since she has a crush on him, but she has lost faith in him and is still upset at what he did to her ("What It Means To Be A Friend").

In class, Brett tells Evan to get his mother to buy them all tickets to "The Bloodmaster." Evan protests that his mother will not buy them tickets to an R-rated movie, but Brett points out that if she doesn't, nobody will go to his Bar Mitzvah party and Evan will be uncool. Evan cycles through possible plans, eventually realizing that he will have Archie use his illness to guilt Evan's mother ("All Hail the Brain/Terminal Illness"). To make things better with Patrice, Evan asks her to go to the movie with him as a date. He then realizes that he "just set Brett and Archie up to be on dates with the same girl, on the same night, in the same place...." Evan makes Archie promise to do nothing more than sit next to Kendra so as not to screw up Brett's date. Archie agrees, and everyone prepares for Friday night ("Getting Ready").

Everyone gets to the movie and Brett prepares for "The Tongue." Lucy is on "Tongue Patrol" and Kendra waits for it along with Eddie and Malcolm. Amidst it all, Patrice is upset because Evan is not sitting with her; he is saving a seat for Archie ("Any Minute"). When Archie gets there, he pokes Brett with a crutch, and panic ensues: Archie squeezes his face, closes his eyes, and goes in to kiss Kendra, while Brett at the same time, turns his head, sticks out his tongue, and goes in for the kiss. Evan sees, and as he mouths "Nooooo!", reaches to pull Kendra back, while Lucy reaches for Kendra, too, but only so she can stop Kendra from getting the tongue. When Brett and Archie don't realize that Kendra is out of their way, their mouths meet. Kendra knees Brett in the crotch, trying to stop him from hurting Evan or Archie, after Archie reveals how Evan set him up on a date with Kendra. Brett breaks up with Kendra, and Lucy asks if Brett's "tongue is still available." Meanwhile, Evan is left alone by Patrice ("Good Enough").

As Lucy and Brett begin dating, she forces him to spend more time with her. Brett's friends recognize that Lucy is good neither for Brett nor for them at all ("Bad News"). Evan promises to help to get Brett and Kendra back together so that he can get back on everyone's good side. Archie, fearing that this is a lost cause, begs Patrice to help Evan. She tells Archie she is not going, but he knows she's lying. When Patrice gets there, she surprises Evan by helping him help Brett, but instead of telling Brett what to say to Kendra, they end up telling each other that they are sorry, but Brett is oblivious ("Tell Her"). Brett takes their advice, and when he learns that Lucy and Kendra are fighting over him, he interferes and makes a feeble attempt to get Kendra back, and to his surprise, she forgives him. Meanwhile, Lucy learns of it and won't take the hit. She spreads a rumor that Kendra is cheating on Brett with Evan, and then gets Evan and Kendra in the same place so that Brett can catch them ("It Can't Be True"). Her plan works, and Brett lashes out at Evan. Evan, finally having enough of Brett, stands up to him and says that Archie and Patrice are his real friends. After Brett insults Archie and Patrice, Evan shoves him, and Brett punches him in the nose, giving him a nosebleed. Patrice immediately rushes to Evan's aid. Kendra shows kindness towards Archie before running after Brett. Evan wants to call off the Bar Mitzvah party because it would only be him, Patrice, and Archie, but Patrice and Archie point out it that won't be that bad, and Evan starts to agree. He surprises Patrice with a kiss, and she surprises him back ("If That's What It Is"). Evan has his Bar Mitzvah party after all; he is starting to understand what growing up means, and the characters tell of what surprises turning thirteen brought for each of them ("A Little More Homework"). Evan tells the audience that he is "thirteen years old. And [he's] just getting started."

An encore is performed to end the show and the band is brought onstage ("Brand New You").

• "13/Becoming a Man" – Evan and Company
• "The Lamest Place in the World" – Patrice
• "Hey Kendra" – Brett, Malcolm, Eddie, Lucy, and Kendra
• "Get Me What I Need" – Archie and Company
• "Opportunity" – Lucy and Cheerleaders
• "What It Means to Be a Friend" – Patrice
• "All Hail the Brain" – Evan
• “Here I Come” — Evan
• "Terminal Illness" – Evan, Archie, and Company
• "Getting Ready" – Archie, Evan, Lucy, Kendra, Brett, and Company
• "Any Minute" – Brett, Kendra, Patrice, and Archie
• "Good Enough" – Patrice
• "Being a Geek" – Evan, Rabbi, and Rabbis
• "Bad News" – Eddie, Malcolm, Simon, and Richie
• "Tell Her" – Evan and Patrice
• "It Can't Be True" – Lucy, Molly, Cassie, Charlotte, and Company
• "If That's What It Is" – Archie, Patrice, and Evan
• "A Little More Homework" – Evan and Company
• "Brand New You" – Cassie, Charlotte, Molly, and Company

"Good Enough" was included in the Original Broadway Production, but was not on the Cast Recording.

"Opportunity" and "Here I Come" were both included on the Original Broadway Cast Recording, but were cut from the production before opening night. The song "Here I Come" originally came after "Good Enough", followed by "Opportunity", which was retooled and included in the MTI Version with new lyrics and a new spot in the show. "Being a Geek" was likewise not included in the Original Broadway Production, but took the place of "Here I Come" in the MTI Version.

• Official website
• ​13​ at the Internet Broadway Database
• 13 at the Music Theatre International website